Pope Francis worried about potential US TikTok ban

VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis was “concerned” about a potential American ban of TikTok, the Chinese-run social media app.

Telling aides that it would “totally jack up a lot of my following,” Francis strongly opposed the measure which has been proposed in Washington. Bipartisan lawmakers have recently drafted a bill to ban the social media app completely, already banning it for federal devices and employees. Proponents of the measure say that TikTok poses a security threat through its data harvesting and ties to the Chinese State. But Pope Francis said “it’s really cool,” and would be “sad” to see it’s influence go down. 

“I’ve got, like, 25% of my followers in America,” Francis told The Daily Inquisition. “If I lose them, that’s a LOT less likes for my ‘Un Poco Loco’ and ‘Swaggy Christmas’ vids.” 

He leaned in close and whispered, “Plus, I’ve got some trends I’m hoping to start soon myself. It’s much harder to go viral if I don’t already have my full subscriber base on board. Check this out.” He stood up and did a strange dance move to Harry Styles “As it Was.” 

“Keep that quiet, but just remember me when you start seeing that everywhere next week,” he winked. 

At press time, Chinese President Xi Jinping said the Pope “shouldn’t worry” because even if the ban passes “I’ll veto it.”