Holy Spirit wishes he appeared as a cooler bird

The Holy Spirit wishes He appeared as a bird cooler than the dove He normally manifests as, according to angels close to Him. 

The third Person of the Trinity said He was rethinking His decision to come down like a dove 2000 years ago, reflecting that it hasn’t aged as well as He had hoped. 

“Oh man, how awesome would it be if I appeared as a phoenix or an eagle or something like that?” He said. “But I decide to be a dove and nobody gives me a second thought.”

Seraphim familiar with the inner workings of the Divinity said the Godhead fears people are too dismissive of the Holy Spirit due to a negative perception of the dove. 

“I’m constantly just forgotten about. They think of the dove and they think I’m gentle, kind, patient, and loving, and so they don’t pay attention to me.” He paused for dramatic effect before continuing, “But just imagine if I was one of those sweet owls with the cool eyes. Then people would know who I am!”

A recent survey from Heaven’s public relations team found most Christians don’t realize the Holy Spirit has all knowledge, grace, wisdom, power, and consolation. Instead, most participants described Him as “nonthreatening,” “an add on,” or “not a part of my prayer life.” 

“I’m literally God, man!” the Holy Spirit said. “I could melt your face off without even moving.” He quickly added, “I don’t want to, but, you know, I could!”

At press time, the Holy Spirit was considering rebranding exclusively to his “Tongues of Fire” look, which polled much better among 16-35 year olds.