‘Three Days of Democrats’ prophecy predicts intense period of Democrat rule

The once popular “Three Days of Democrats” prophecy is making a renewed comeback in Catholic circles. 

The eschatological prophecy predicts a series of mystical future events before the heralding in of the end of the ages. It foretells “three days” of suffocating Democrat rule over the entire country. 

First prophesied by Bl. Ronald Reagan (1911-2004), the visions say it will be impossible to use any electric light during this period as renewable energy corrupts the power grid. Only those with natural gas stoves will have light. Many demons will come under the disguise of friendly bureaucrats to trap families in their homes; they will offer promises of rescue if people inject a special “mark” into their bodies, which once received will drag the soul to hell.  

Republicans must not even peek inside their homes during this period, or they will drop dead on the spot. The air will be thick with a Chinese pestilence, and all conservatives must spend the period praying to the Evangelical God for mercy. The streets will be lined with human feces, and hideous beasts will appear in massive tent cities to terrorize with looting and vandalism. All the enemies of the Republican Party will perish during the universal liberal rule, except for a few moderate Democrats who will soon convert. After this intense trial, the Republican Party will rise anew and usher in a 1000-year reign of peace and godliness.  

The visions have detractors within the Republican Party, who say that since it is not part of the GOP’s platform it can be easily dismissed. But the prophecy has remained controversial even among its supporters, also. Many people argue whether the “three days” refer to three years, or three election cycles, or even three full terms. Still some claim they are entirely symbolic, and mean only a general, unspecified period of electoral challenge for the GOP. 

By now, however, most Republicans have accepted that the prophecy has already been fulfilled in the State of California.