Pope Francis finally gets to the Dubia in his ‘To Do’ pile

VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis finally got to the infamous Dubia on Amoris Laetitia today, according to sources familiar with the Pontiff’s work schedule. 

The 2016 document from four Traditionalists Cardinals listed five questions, or “doubts,” the Cardinals had on Pope Francis’ controversial Amoris Laetitia. The Dubia garnered media attention for its alleged questioning of the Pope’s orthodoxy, and Pope Francis’ apparent unwillingness to respond to it.

It’s now clear, however, that Francis just hadn’t gotten around to it yet.

“Alright, I guess I’ll take a look at this one…oh dang, this is from 2016!” Francis said as he pulled it from his towering pile of papers on his desk. “I better work on this right away.”

The 85-year-old Pope poured himself a cup of coffee and adjusted his glasses, ready for a long evening of studying and writing. 

“O.K., question 1: ‘It is asked whether, following the affirmations of…while bound by a valid marriage bond…more uxorio…” Francis muttered to himself as he slumped down in his gaming chair.

“Ugh, this is, like, sooooo boring,” the Pontiff reportedly exclaimed. “But still, I really better work on it tonight.” 

At press time Pope Francis has left his response unfinished on his desk while he goes out and gets a churro. 

Originally published Jul 29, 2022