Naïve idiot wants ‘a lot of kids’

Local naïve Catholic Richard Mehta was heard telling friends he wanted “a bunch of kids” yesterday, proving to all around him he was a complete moron. 

“I’m really looking for a good Catholic wife I can settle down with and have at least six or seven children,” Mehta said, unaware of how expensive diapers are nowadays. 

The 19-year-old also seemed to have no idea how difficult sleepless nights rocking a crying baby would be, not to mention the exorbitant cost of 6-7 hospital deliveries. 

“Oh boy, he’s clueless,” his friend gossiped to The Daily Inquisition. “Does he even know how taxing that many pregnancies could be on his wife? I’m sure after 10 years of corresponding weight gains and lack of interest in physical intimacy he’ll be changing his tune!” 

Mehta seemed undeterred. “A baby is just so precious. Just think of how awesome half a dozen would be! But that’s the minimum of course. I’d love even as much as 15,” he said, heedless of the state of the housing market. 

He continued to voice his desires for a large family despite the corresponding anxiety and heartache caring for so many souls would inevitably bring, plus without considering the toll such a lack of peace and quiet might have on him. 

“Of course, the best part would be all the sacrifices I’d have to make for them. That would really bring me closer to Christ,” Mehta said, finally proving to his friends that he was indeed completely crazy. 

At press time, Mehta found a good Catholic wife who can’t wait to have children, and also thinks he’s completely crazy.

Originally published Nov 20, 2022