Bishop Barron transforms into cyborg ‘Meca-Barron,’ uploads self to social media

CYBERSPACE—Popular social media evangelist and Catholic Bishop Robert Barron disappeared from his new diocese of Winona-Rochester yesterday, according to the latest reports. 

The new bishop had allegedly transformed himself into a cyborg and uploaded his consciousness to the internet in an attempt to better spread his Word on Fire ministry. 

“MINNESOTA TOO LIMITING” the Bishop typed out on his computer-monitor face. “CANNOT REACH WORLD. INITIATING WOF.PROTOCOL-145.67”

A spokesperson for Word on Fire, Bishop Barron’s popular online platform, said he believes the Bishop will be able to reach a wider audience this way. 

“Bishop Barron can now serve Jesus better than ever after destroying his mortal form and triggering the corpo-digital singularity,” he said. “Meca-Barron is happy to take additional questions through our Superchat.”

Despite what some say is a radical shift for the Bishop, his diocese and other ministries have continued with only slight modification. After taking off only one day to get used to his new digital form, Word on Fire will continue its programming with “Meca-Barron Presents: The Youtube Algorithm.”

At press time, Meca-Barron had gotten a virus and kept repeating, “01010111 01001111 01010010 01000100 00100000 01001111 01001110 00100000 01000110 01001001 01010010 01000101.”

Originally published Oct 1, 2022