Church Militant to go out of business as State grand juries take over their job

FERNDALE, MI—St. Michael’s Media, better known as Church Militant, announced it was closing its doors on Monday after realizing it was no longer needed. 

A spokesperson for the conservative Catholic media group said Church Militant’s mission was redundant now that most States and secular media have started condemning bishops and priests for sexual sins. 

“The recent Pennsylvania Grand Jury Report, among others, shows without a doubt that secular attorneys have finally received our message, and are calling out the sins of the episcopacy better than we ever could,” the statement read. “Faced with this increased competition, and mindful of our calling, we are ceasing all operations effective immediately.” 

Founded in 2006, St. Michael’s Media was formerly called RealCatholicTV. It was best known for its news and opinion page,, until its recent shut down. 

“The sad reality is that with the power of the State getting involved, we just can’t compete anymore. The market for sensationalist, angry Catholic journalism is only so big, and no one ever thinks of the little guy,” founder Michael Voris lamented. “But I am hopeful that our mission and spirit will live on,” he said as he loaded bricks into his car. “Now if you excuse me, I’ve got a meeting at the Diocesan headquarters I’m late for.”

Former employees of the media group appeared jovial as they cleared their cubicles one last time. “This is only a temporary setback for us,” one former employee told us. “Thanks to cable news, podcasts, etc. our skills are in high demand! We’ll find other work soon enough,” he said. “I think the Daily Wire is hiring.” 

Originally posted Oct 31, 2020