Pope Francis declares third Sunday of Easter Divine Wrath Sunday

VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis issued a Motu proprio Wednesday naming the 3rd Sunday of Easter “Divine Wrath Sunday.” 

This move was seen as expanding upon the legacy of his predecessor, Pope St. John Paul II, who was famous for instituting Divine Mercy Sunday in place of the 2nd Sunday of Easter. Pope Francis referenced this recent feast as part of the rationale for these most recent liturgical developments.

“Mercy, mercy mercy—that’s all everyone talks about nowadays,” the Pope said while smoking a large cigar. “But if you ask me, it’s making us soft.”

The Pontiff cracked a bowl full of peanuts in his fist before continuing.

“We need a new feast to remind everyone that you’re all little punks who will be lucky to burn in Purgatory for 1000 years,” he said while chewing. “That’s why I’m instituting a new feast to commemorate God’s burning, fiery wrath towards all reprobates.”

“Its time to go back to a good ‘ol fashioned Angry God.”

The move was at first welcomed by Traditionalists organizations, until they found out it came from Pope Francis, at which point they declared God’s Wrath an invention of Vatican II. 

Originally published Feb 19, 2022