Cardinal Wuerl considering starting rival to The Vortex, ‘The Wuerlpool’

WASHINGTON, DC—Representatives from the USCCB confirmed yesterday that Cardinal Wuerl is planning to found a new Catholic news organization “in the very near future.” 

The new media conglomerate would fall directly under the survey of the Conference of Bishops, and have as its chief aim “combatting the fake news of independent lay-run reporting that often undermines the respectability of the American hierarchy.” 

The working title of the new group is “The Wuerlpool,” a clear message that the main target is Church Militant’s popular segment “The Vortex.” Headed by lay-trash Michael Voris, “The Vortex” has gained popularity mostly among traditional Catholics for its raw, often controversial reporting on Church hierarchy and its monopoly on water-themed Christian journalism. Mainstream Catholics hope a second swirly-evoking news group, and one with the backing of such a well-liked clergyman, might shift the national focus away from Voris’ constant questioning of the hierarchy’s motives and competency. 

Wuerl was himself a frequent target of Voris’ accusations, especially surrounding his alleged complicity in former-Cardinal Theodore McCarrick’s abuse of seminarians, a history that certainly is playing into this move. To combat such salacious reporting, The Wuerlpool reportedly will take the official, mainstream view on every story, and never publish anything negative about an American prelate who isn’t Cardinal Burke. “By essentially being a mouthpiece for the USCCB disguised as an independent news organization, we hope to take some of the market share away from divisive and honest reporting,” Fr. Jim Caviezel, secretary of the bishops’ Media Task Force told us. “Plus, its high tide [sic] we had another water-themed Catholic news agency floating around.” 

This publication reached out directly to Wuerl for comment, who swore he knew nothing and this was the first he was hearing of it. 

Originally published Feb 13, 2020