Jesus DESTROYS death with FACTS and LOGOS

Jesus Christ absolutely DESTROYED death last week in a now-viral video circulating on Facebook. 

Death, a well-known sinner, was OBLITERATED when he suggested he has an eternal hold on all of mankind at one of Jesus’ well-attended speaking events. Jesus LAID INTO HIM, schooling him with cold, hard FACTS and eternal LOGOS, something the sinners are unfamiliar with. 

“OK folk, this is just the kind of brain-dead dribblings the Sins are known for at this point,” the controversial Jewish commentators said at breakneck pace. “But the idea that any single abstract entity can have eternal dominion over the literal creatures of God is just asinine.”

The EPIC PWNAGE was beautiful to behold. Death had asked the question during a Q and A, obviously thinking it was a devastating rebuttal to Jesus’ main talking point of redeeming humanity. But he had underestimated the lightning intellect of the Son of God!

“Do you even hear yourself,” Jesus retorted. “You’re standing before the all-powerful incarnate Logos, or Word of God himself, who became man and SUFFERED and DIED for all of mankind, and you REALLY THINK he would just stand by and let DEATH of all people waltz in and take over their souls? What a NOOB.”

Death’s other SINNER friends had previously been picketing outside the auditorium, chanting LOSER slogans like “eat, drink, for tomorrow you die” and “you ate the apple, now your [sic] dead.” When they heard their leader get OWNED inside, they collapsed in embarrassment. 

Death also fled the event sobbing, unable to handle getting completely WRECKED like that. What a snowflake!